Friday, January 07, 2011

Once Upon a Time.........

Once Upon a Time…………..

Almost without fail, when we pick up a book and the first thing we see are those words, we know in our heart that what we are about to read is a work of fiction, a dream, and something that, in the real world, would never actually happen. We see “once upon a time” and we know that what we are seeing is the open door to the land of fantasy and imagining. I’m going to start this entry out with those words, but first I’m going to assure you that what you’ll discover here isn’t a work of fiction, is not a tale of fantasy, and most certainly can and did happen. I’m going to give you a little glimpse into the world of a true love story that I was blessed and privileged to share in a very small but powerful way.

Once upon a time I knew a lovely married couple. They were the parents of my very best friend in the world. They were tremendously successful and enjoyed their exclusive and special place within our community, him a retired and highly respected surgeon, and she his regal and beautiful wife of many many years. Everyone has known a couple of that type of standing who were more than particular about the company they kept. Not them. They were kind, generous, gracious, funny, at times irreverent, and they welcomed me into their extended family with open arms and a kindness that warmed my heart. She became a dear friend and a sort of second mom and to me, while he was the man who always had a smile, a kind word, a warm pat on my arm and all the fatherly advice I could absorb. The only thing that exceeded their humble and generous spirits was their love for each other. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have witnessed that kind of endless love story and partnership.

But we lost one half of that partnership this week. After a long struggle with that bitch Alzheimer’s and a failing heart, and while in the arms of the woman he had loved all his life, he left us Tuesday, and though we will miss him tremendously, he leaves behind a legacy of honor, dignity, spirit and love that few will ever match.

Every little girl dreams of growing up and meeting and marrying her prince, of finding the man who will treat her with care, will hold her heart in his hands as though it were a precious and fragile thing and who will move heaven and earth to see that she is happy and safe. Every little boy hopes that he will be lucky enough to one day capture the heart of a beautiful, intelligent, funny and caring young woman who will spend her life showing him respect, love, acceptance and appreciation for all he tries to give to her. Seldom does life cooperate with those hopes and dreams but sometimes miracles happen. Barbara and Nick were one of those miracles and a love story for the ages. I managed to watch that love story unfold for the last 11 years of his life and I am blessed and privileged to have called him my friend.

I will miss him but I thank him and I thank her for teaching me something so very very vital. That this kind of love, this kind of partnership IS out there. That a magnificent relationship borne of respect, compassion, understanding and love can happen, is possible, is not out of reach. The fairytale isn’t necessarily fiction. That once upon a time can also be right now. That a real man is the one who treasures his wife beyond all others all the days of his life, values what she so willingly offers to him, loves his children more than he loves himself, and understands that a gentle and graceful spirit is the true measure of the man. I love you Dr. Nick. And I’ll miss you very very much. Thank you for the lessons I learned from you, even if you didn’t realize you were teaching me.

And I’ll keep an eye on things for you. You didn’t call me “The Chairman” for nothing.