The Not So Subtle Man

Hidey. Me again.

All I did was try to get a simple hair cut and I swear that's all. I did not head out that afternoon with the intention of doing anything other than getting an inch or two lopped off. My itinerary most definitely did not include a line item such as "1. Scare the shit out of a total stranger."

Now, I dunno about you, but the days when I'm scheduled to head up to the salon for my haircut are glorious cause I don't wash my hair that day and I don't do nuthin to it at all and junk and I just haul it back into a pony tail and suck it up until my appointment. In short I'm just flat out HOT. So I went whole hog and didn't put on any make up either, figuring it would just get washed off and messed up anyway. Me and my justifications for being a lazy hog.

Got my hair cut. Loved my hair cut. I'd better love my hair cut considering what I just paid for. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't walk away with a coupon for sexual favors after spending that kind of money on a friggin hair cut. Digressing again. So sorry. Anyway. I'm just bopping back down the street to go back to my office and I see a painter up ahead on a ladder, painting the metal awning that hangs out over the sidewalk from one of the shops that clutter the entire downtown area. He's listening to the radio. The Stones. "It's Only Rock n Roll" and he's singing a little. Looks up and sees me coming just as the chorus hits and sings "I like it!". I thought "Oh Christ, and me with PMS". I get a closer and he gets a little louder with "I like it!!" I get underneath the awning and he's now at shouting volume with "I SAID I LIKE IT!" and I'm picking up the pace cause I KNOW my limits, and damned near in the clear when leans down toward me, precariously balanced on his little metal ladder and literally bellows down at me "CAN'T YA SEE THIS OL BOY'S BEEN LONELY" and I couldn't stand it anymore and whirled around and screamed "WOULD YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP?"

The ol' boy slid a full two rungs down that ladder before he finally regained his balance and caught himself. I gotta find myself a 12 step program or somethin'.